It's that time of year again where the gym memberships have increased drastically, journals have flown off the shelves, and honey buns have been replaced by fresh produce. Don't you just love it? Some may look at this time of year as a cliche with all of the goal setting, but there are a few who set reachable goals and accomplish them before years end. But this year I didn't make the cut for that team. However, I did make it on the team of people who achieved goals that they never thought to even set.
As I take a subliminal glance back on this time last year, I can honestly say that things are better. I'm learning new things, writing more, and developing good relationships...and getting rid of others. That's what it's been about for me. Another 365 day journey of unexpected hurt, lessons, love, change, adaptability, and growth. And with this, I'm happy. With very little knowledge of what may transpire in one's day, we have to take into account that many situations encountered will either be something that we've experienced or something that we haven't. This year, whether you've repeated a mistake or learned from one, embrace the passage because you made it with yet another journey ahead. When we travel naturally, we have a destination set in mind. We map out the less complicated route possible to avoid traffic or detours. Traffic embodies waiting. Detours involve change. In life most of us spend time trying to evade the two because we're comfortable with familiarity and anything set beyond our recognition has to be learned or our trust placed inside the hands of another who can properly guide us. Maybe we shouldn't be so hard on Eve. We seem to eat from the tree daily instead entrusting our traffic and detours to God.
Very little notice would be rendered around this time if our eyes were focused more on a Higher plan versus the plan that we've set for ourselves. It makes you think about what the real goals of the year were? Perception can make a circle appear never ending versus having a forever new beginning.
So during this time, please don't spend it being frazzled and discontent with yourself. Your goals, you'll eventually accomplish, but His goals will make it all worthwhile. Remember Progression isn't a destination but a starting point. Life will always be full of things to accomplish, goals to meet, and paths to cross. Don't spend time worrying about three things you weren't able to accomplish but more so on what you already have.
Have A Happy New Year!
We all know what it felt like when we sought to please our peers growing up. We cared so much about what they thought that we defied authoritative figures, put ourselves in harm's way, and often times made choices that we knew we would regret soon after. And all in the hopes of gaining acceptance from a group of kids who couldn't make their own sandwiches. Rare is the case where you found that one kid who was unwilling to yield to the pressures of the adolescent child. That kid was either ostracized or reverenced. As I grow older, it is to my amazement that I'm still able to witness the same school yard mindset that I was subjected to when I was a pre-teen. I question the provocation of the adult who seeks to manipulate the mind of another adult as well the person who allows such a thing to transpire.
"When I was child, I spoke as child, I understood as a child, I thought as child: but when I became a man I put away childish things" 1 Corinthians 3:11. It's to be understood how, we can in our childlike nature, seek the approval of our constituents when we're growing into ourselves because experience hasn't yet taught us, with a hard hand, that majority of the people that we seek to impress, don't really have our best interest involved. But what's to say of those who in adult life, haven't learned to be who they are in spite of what others may think? At some point I believe that we all come into the knowledge of who we really are. I mean who we truly are when no one else is around. And sometimes we either feel like we aren't good enough or we accept ourselves but yet choose to keep our true identity hidden. Why? We're afraid. We're afraid that we're going to lose some of the people we call friends. We're afraid that the person that we're planning to marry won't want to marry us any longer. We're afraid that we will no longer be the cool kid. Well that's okay. Your life doesn't become a joyous life until it's surrounded by people who really love and care about you for who you are. Once you realize that, the anxiety that accompanies trying to please others soon evaporates.
So if you're currently finding yourself needing the constant approval of others, do yourself a favor and STOP! Quoted from the movie, The Maid, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." I know it sounds silly, but saying something nice to yourself only reminds you of how awesome you really are.
There appears to be something new catching the eyes of men these days besides Kim Kardashian's bum. Gone are the days when being pretty was enough to get you any and everything. And let's face it. With the amount of cosmetics and cosmetic surgery available, anyone can attain it with enough resources. At one time, men were the ones primarily concerned with what they could bring to the table financially, but no longer. There has risen a group of individuals who now aspect their woman partners to match dollar for dollar. Is this fair or is it reversed feminism?
For some time now, women have been in constant battle to win equal rights within the work place, in politics, and even in the church. With women now beginning to gain some momentum in the aforementioned areas, so have the mandates of their new household responsibilities. Once upon a time, a great catch was considered to be a woman, who was physically appealing, could cook, clean, and who didn't have the reputation of being promiscuous. NOW you can add to that list, and one who can go half on the bills!
I can't say that I totally disagree with this way of thinking. In the current state of the economy, two incomes are definitely better than one. Some may argue that maybe that's why men back in the day worked two jobs. If we're being honest, times were different some odd years ago because women weren't afforded the education or employment opportunities that we are now. If your grandmother had the option of being more than a maid or a sales clerk, I'm sure that she would've. Now that we're living in the land of opportunity, we have the benefit of gaining financial responsibility without the assistance of a partner and we offer more when we can contribute to the households' income. Some women will disagree once children are factored into the equation, expressing discontentment with taking on the household chores and being held part liable for helping out monetarily. But whoever said that women never helped money-wise? In all cultures, women have always worked. Granted, the labor market was certainly different but none the less, they worked.
So if you're looking for your Boaz, know that your Boaz may be looking for you where the actual Boaz found Naomi....working.
I recently came across a comment on twitter....
In the words of Don, "Put a check with it ma"!
We're often reminded in our adolescence, the importance of how we treat others, but rare is the occasion when we're chastised for not being kind to ourselves. We're taught early on to be receptive of compliments, but not to actually SELF-compliment. Could that be the reason why we become our worse critique later on in life?