I tried to fly out of body to flow freely but I kept being pulled back. Within myself was another self who I visited every once in a while, as you would an elderly relative. The visits were short and stifled with regret looming in the air from me neglecting to visit more often. Guilt. I spent so much time in the company of others that time just went by. So I promise to stay in contact.
The ground is cool beneath my feet but I just needed to feel. Needed to know that I was still existing and not just caught in someone else's dream. As the wind blew past my face I caught hold of it as a baby suckling its mothers breast for the very first time and I exhale. Tears run slowly down my face and I take calm in knowing that I'm still here. Purged from a soul bound by the ideologies of others and suppressed into a dark corner of her own subconsciousness, she remained silent and accepting because she didn't know what it felt like to be free. Thinking it normal to walk upon eggshells hoping not to crack or be cracked.
It was in her alone time when she heard me, yelling from the well that housed her tears. My drowning and gasp for air pulled her in to me and we spoke once again, but candidly. She realized that she was losing me and in that, losing herself so she embraced me and nothing was strange about it. A perfect fit.
I thought about you
as the sun peeked above my windowpane
my fingers touching the tip of the bed
I remembered what it was like
to awake next to you
and closed my eyes once more
hoping to get a glimpse of it again
To see you
looking at me
buried within your thoughts
I'd smile and ask what you were thinking
and you'd brush my hair from my face
and say nothing
but your eyes said everything
I'd go to sleep with you a thousand times
just for that sweet morning.
You're usually the first to arrive
and the last to leave
My phone no longer rings
I've seen and heard of stranger things
but I just want to know what happened...
No surprise visits
No candy hearts delivered to my desk
No roses scattered mess
We said no love
I guess I wasn't made for this after all