We've all been there before. At the place where you thought you were ready for love but when the possibility presented itself, you vanished leaving the unsuspected rendering soul dispelled and completely flabbergasted. After all, they thought that everything was going great. You, yourself thought that everything was falling into place until that quenching feeling that's usually accompanied with being hurt, settles in. It's usually accompanied with doubt, resistance, and finally disappearance. The very thought of experiencing the pain of heartbreak is more than some of us who've experienced it can handle. So we often find ourselves shielding ourselves. Closing the door on potential love interest just because we're afraid of being hurt again. I've recently found this to be a recurring part of so many of our lives. So how do we get back to the place that we're both ready to give and to receive love? How do we stop hurting the people who come into our lives hoping to become a part of it? WE TAKE A CHANCE!
The more I think about it the more I consider my own experiences with love and betrayal. Once the bonds of trust have been broken, they're often hard to regain. The first time that I said the words, I love you, meant the world to me but it was nothing compared to having them reciprocated. I was overcome with all kinds of feelings and emotions. It was like nothing that I'd ever felt before. I mean, how great is it to share a fraction of yourself with someone and have them love you and feel the exact way that you do? During the relationship, he was all that I could think about from the time that I awoke until the time I went to bed. I wanted to spend every waking moment in his arms. Those feeling at that moment were accepted without any regard to what may become of us in a year or so. I was naively, ready to receive love in whatever form that it wanted to come. The only thing was that I hadn't considered was the vulnerability that you're exposed to once you give someone a piece of your heart. Nor did I consider what I would be potentially exposing someone else to. So when this once explosive love just become an explosion, you can rest assure that I was ill prepared for the downward spiral of affection. The love that we once had was replaced with mistrust, sometimes verbal abuse, with a smidge of resentment. I was finished with love and everything that it had come with.
After a few years of living beneath loves radar I found myself on the road to a possible happy ending when anxiety began to settle in. Could I stand giving the power of my emotion to another person again? Was it even worth it to try? I can't give you a yes or a no but I can say that the feeling of not trying at all is as bad as being hurt once you've giving love its fair chance. So if you're at a point in life where you feel like cupid may be on the horizon....be still, breathe, and trust in the natural process of loving again.
With the current state of the economy being the way it is, when we find ourselves in unfulfilling jobs, we're more than likely timid about complaining. I've recently experienced this with a friend whose been unemployed for years now but when faced with working an $11 dollar an hour paying job or just receiving unemployment benefits, she opted to take the job. It wasn't what she desired and the pay definitely wasn't what she was accustom to. Having a college degree afforded her with the opportunity, at one point in time, to work within her designated field. Now she's currently faced with two options, forfeit a second income or stick it out until she finds something else.
Many find themselves in her current position. It was mine not too long ago. I'd been receiving unemployment for over a year when I got a call to interview for a Student Scout position. The pay was $9 an hour for to work 20 to 30 hours a week (they only hired part time workers). Not only was the pay low but the commute was horrendous. I spent a large portion of my check on driving 60 minutes going and coming. After doing that job for three months, while still interviewing in between, I was completely overcome with frustration. It had literally become the topic of discussion in every conversation that I held but it would usually, like so many others, end with, "But I don't want to complain, I'm grateful." The fear of ending up like others, who not only lost their jobs, but homes as well, triggered a feeling of quilt whenever I wanted to vent about the unpleasantness of my current employment.
In my fourth month of working that job, I decided that I could either continue complaining and be depressed or I could actually try and learn something from a job that offered very little compensation besides a $50 dollar gift card for arriving on time each month. I started taking the job a little more serious. Being sort of a shy person, I always spoke very low. The repetitive nature of this job, equipped me with confidence to read a script verbatim and before I knew it, I was projecting my voice with assurance while speaking with clients over the phone. A few weeks later, I got a call back from my present employer and unbeknownst to me, he said that my interview had been based upon how professional I sounded over the phone. God truly does work in mysterious ways. Had I not taken that job, I would probably be the same timid, unassertive individual that I'd always been.
I say all of that to say, learn where you can. We've all seen those old karate movies where the young eager apprentice received their training by doing house chores but in the end came out with more wisdom, patience, and knowledge. So while you're awaiting a more comfortable and desirable position, see the benefit of where you currently are. And as you seek better employment opportunities, squeeze as much lemon as you possibly can to fill your pitcher.