Keeping It Casual...Who Gets Hurt...Who Gets Blamed

Keeping It Casual...

So you meet someone that you're interested in and after the formal meet and great, you finally set up a date and time to have lunch, dinner, etc. As time goes on, you stop receiving calls from that person, the text messages slowly began to dwindle, and you find yourself wondering what might of occurred. You say to yourself that maybe he's just not interested, but then that second voice kicks in telling you that he just might be (although you know what it is to be pursued), so you resist your intuition and start making attempts to reach out to him. What happens then is usually another meeting of sorts but this time something has changed. He has become the pursued and you the pursuant. 

How many times have you heard this scenario or taken part in it yourself? When women knowingly ignore the tell tell signs that men often give off in regards to if they're interested in pursuing a relationship or not, they tend to set themselves up for letdown. To my understanding after speaking with a few men, women hold the majority of responsibility when it comes to heart matters if a man has not mentioned a relationship in previous discussions. Now whether or not you actually agree with this, it does have some merit. A woman's heart is her most prized possession because so much good can flow from it but at the same time, when that heart has been repeatedly damaged, a lot of bad things can flow with the same level of intensity. This becomes a problem because her heart controls the better part of her. That's why you hear so often when a woman has been hurt so much, she can't recognize when she has finally come across what it is that she's been waiting in a partner and that can be largely attributed to her vision being obscured due to her broken heart. So with this in mind, who would give that kind of responsibility to a man solely based off of interest? 

Overtime, it has become more common for women to assume the responsibility of convincing a man that they should be interested in them instead of allowing them to make the choice naturally. When this happens, they open themselves up to be used sexually and honestly speaking, most men are okay with accepting this. Some even go as far as to say that if there's no potential for a relationship after meeting a woman, that that'll approach her in a more direct manner to see if she's willing to compromise and settle for just being casual, i.e, a sexual partner with absolutely no attachments. This may sound harsh to some, and it is, but there's always a choice in the matter and when you start pursuing men, this is a common outcome.   

So in essence ladies, you hold the cards. If a man hasn't been calling you, courting you, spending time with you, that's not his way of saying that there's something wrong with you but more so that you're not necessarily what he's looking for. And that's okay. You've freed up the time and space for the one who will be completely engulfed with you.

Davina S. 




​

​