YOU'RE FOR SOMEONE...JUST NOT FOR ME

You're For Someone, Just Not For Me

One of the hardest things in the world to do is tell someone who you've gotten to know romantically, that you really can't see a future with them. Over a duration of time spent together you may see a lot of great qualities in the person but you just can't seem to envision a future. But instead of accepting that it may be time to call it quits, you stay. And where certain softer emotions once lied now reside resentment and regret. So what is the best way to walk away from a relationship after you discover that there's no hope for a future?

In my own experience as well as a few other friends, prolonging the time in which you reveal your true feelings can be devastating and create even more problems for both parties involved. First, you have a person whose feelings are continuously growing and at the same time so is your confusion which may cause you to push off the evitable. You begin to try and convince yourself that maybe that person can be more, when you know within your heart that it's most likely not the case. Secondly, more commitments may become apparent causing a clean break away to be less attainable. While you're planning your exit, for those sexually involved, a surprise pregnancy may occur. It happens more than you may think. Who then can tell someone, 'Sorry, but I was really planning on breaking this off. Peace out!' Not so likely to happen. Now, instead of being all free and clear of the person, you have to figure out how to function as parents in a drowning relationship.

It's better to just be sure first and then to follow up with honesty. Honesty is usually the hardest road to take but yields the best return in the end.

There are some who actually tell the person straight away that they're no longer interested in pursuing anything further, but mess up when they try to remain an immediate part of the persons life. This is sometimes the start of that painful circumstance that many label as being 'friends with benefits'. Emotions are still strong so neither party is able to completely control themselves and soon jealously becomes a factor. Jealousy usually will stem from one person or both seeing slight potential in someone else. And often times the rejected party tends to believe that with some alterations, whether physical or internal, that they can possibly persuade the other person to commit once again. Now there may not be any intention there to hurt the rejected person, but one should be very mindful of the fact that that's usually the outcome so STAY CLEAR! If you're done with someone, be done or at least allow an appropriate amount of time for healing to take place on both sides.

There's no rule book on  how not to break someone's heart when trying to absolve a relationship but there are ways to do it that will alleviate a pattern of hurt. If you're in a relationship that you consider to be going nowhere, remember to not base your decision to stay on the notion that you may not find anyone better. In the end, you'll only end up wasting your time as well the other person's when there's a chance that you both can be your happiest with someone besides each other. Look at your situation honestly and then make a choice and stick with it.

I hope this helped someone and if you have any additional advice for someone that may be experiencing this, please leave your comment below.

Davina S,​​