Davina Sims
  • HOME
    • About
  • DAILY MOTIVATION
  • BLOG
  • Lifestyle
    • Wellness
    • Style
    • Parenting
    • Food
    • Relationships
    • POETRY/SHORT STORIES
  • Contact

Parenting

A Father's Right

10/2/2020

10 Comments

 
Picture

A Father's Right

When it comes to the rights of father's within the American judicial system, it appears that the dads often time get the short end of the stick. It's often assumed, outside of divorce court where there are more mitigations involved, that parental rights are given majorly to the mother. Some may say that it's because mother's are more nurturing and may have more time to spend with the children but a shift in household financial responsibilities have placed women in the same bracket as men when it comes to, at home availability. Many women now work full time jobs, which poses the question, in the matter of parental custody, should both parents receive equal time with the children? 

Growing up as a child, when you had a friend living within a one parent home, it was usually the child living primarily with the mother. We would often refer to the father as the 'weekend dad' without considering the notion that he never had a choice in the matter.  Unmarried couples who decide to go their separate ways are subject to the courts visitation determination if an agreement hasn't been reached amongst themselves.

The judge will assess the following factors in determining a custodial arrangement:

  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • Each parent’s health and ability to care for the child
  • The child’s relationship with each parent’s community, household, and other family members
  • If one parent acted as the child’s primary caregiver in the past
  • The child’s wishes, if the child is deemed mature enough to express an opinion
  • Any history of domestic violence or abuse

In many cases, both parents have similar capabilities to provide the aforementioned but it still remains that father's usually come out on the short end of the stick. Nationwide, a father is likely to receive 35% of child custody time. In some instances, where both parents can offer the same support, emotions take over and bad decisions are made, including wrongfully filing a restraining order. Many judges who grant restraining orders on a parent, aren't very likely to then offer up joint custody to them. 

In an effort to combat the disadvantages that father's receive when it comes custody and child support, organizations have been created to assist with legal council and emotional support. I've listed the links below.

https://www.familylawrights.net/illinois/fathers-rights/
https://fatherssupportcenter.org/
https://www.dadsrights.com/

For those father's who may be experiencing a difficult time in court trying to gain access to your children, become as knowledgeable as you can before hiring an attorney. Refer to some of the resources available to you so that when you're ready to pursue legal counsel, you're prepared. This can be very cost effective in the long run.

If after reading this, you're able to provide some form of advice to another father, please  comment below. Let's keep this conversation going until something changes. 

Davina S.  


**resources: mckinleyirvin.com; familyfindlaw.com



10 Comments
Anton
10/3/2020 08:59:29 am

They aren’t fair; they don’t explain the proceedings and court jargon.

They expect the worse from the father.

They do Not aggressively accept any allegations toward the mother vs the father.

They do not sustain any evidence of the mother falsifying evidence.

They allow the mothers to change the fathers addresses, at which time the court can send out a notice for court, and will have the father to have a warrant for their arrest.

Reply
ds
10/12/2020 06:49:03 pm

Thank you for commenting.

Reply
@mr_stupendous link
10/3/2020 09:39:35 am

This was a very smooth and informative read. I will most definitely share this with other men that’s facing custody battles.

Davina, thank you taking the time to share with us an issue that have been effecting great fathers for years.

Reply
ds
10/12/2020 06:50:43 pm

Thanks for your comment!

Reply
Lorenzo
10/3/2020 09:48:19 am

I went through a divorce 10yrs ago and my ex wife asked for $1200 a month until I found out I could get it modified. Now I’m only paying half of that. I have 3 girls and I’m involved in my girls life although they live with their mother. The Judge gave us joint custody of the girls and that means they can come to my house whenever they want. As far as child support goes i only pay 600 monthly for 3 kids and to be honest that’s really not enough to take care of 3 girls a month so I help out as much as possible. Fellas dont look at child support as a punishment take it as you being a real man and taking care of your children. If you see the mother not using the money to take care of your child you can take her to court for full custody. Just make sure you take pictures and keep all receipts of everything you buy and do so you can have proof that you’re doing your job as a father. God bless all the good fathers

Reply
ds
10/12/2020 06:51:37 pm

Thanks Renzo!

Reply
Harris-Bey
10/3/2020 03:05:26 pm

Thanks Davina for even having this discussion and providing information for us to gain an understanding for ourselves about our rights. I think it's very important that we have a firm grasp as to what options we have when these kind of situations arise.

Reply
ds
10/12/2020 06:53:02 pm

Thank you Mr. Harris!

Reply
Erik Goodloe
10/7/2020 11:48:40 am

Ms. DaVina you've done it again.. Striking a chord of deep emotion and sumtin that is often kept quiet by the media....

I'm a father of 4 little girls by two different women. Never married, 2 kids by each. I'm on the Chicago Fire Dept. I work 92 days a year. 24hrs on and 72hrs off. I've always been involved with my kids. Never thought I would be in the system or a single father for that matter. So since I ended the relationship with the 2nd mother and went back to the 1st mother. The 2nd decided to file false Domestic Allegations and child support and back child support, in January 2019. Lets face it, obviously out of spight and bitterness... It's since been an expensive losing battle. How do I turn things around... We're both in the same tax bracket, we both have homes, I wanted and am more than capable of being 50/50 shared parent.... so why have I become an every other weekend Parent. An Order of Protection granted with no evidence to present. Smh unbelievable... Child support for what reason do I have to help pay her bills, $1800 a month is not totally being spent on the girls..but its ok to short change my 2 other girls that I keep 4 overnights a week, its ok to risk losing my home, its ok to bankrupt the Father, its ok that he can't make the proper repairs to his vehicle to provide safe transportation.... This system Family Court is rigged to be an Extortion process. The State makes money off of keeping families split apart. In the "Best Interests of the kids," they say..lol 😆 its in the best interests of the lawyers, judges, therapists, GAL'S, kids.. they eating real good off of us...
Let's turn things around for so many loving and involved Fathers here in Chicago....

I just signed the petition "Modern Day Family Law Reform" and wanted to see if you could help by adding your name.

Our goal is to reach 25,000 signatures and we need more support. You can read more and sign the petition here:

http://chng.it/fJXZ45N6ND

Thanks!
Erik 

Reply
ds
10/12/2020 06:53:50 pm

Thank you Eric for commenting.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

      please subscribe

    Subscribe to Newsletter

    Archives

    October 2020
    May 2019

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

©2021davinasims.com

Email: contact@davinasims.com

  • HOME
    • About
  • DAILY MOTIVATION
  • BLOG
  • Lifestyle
    • Wellness
    • Style
    • Parenting
    • Food
    • Relationships
    • POETRY/SHORT STORIES
  • Contact