no one ever said it would be easy

no one ever said it would be easy - parenting

5/27/2019

no one ever said it would be easy - parenting

I have been a mom for twelve years now and let me tell you, it hasn't been easy. Being a parent brings out of all those hidden elements about yourself that you'd rather work on in your own time or perhaps not at all. Your lack of patience may not be so readable in your working environment or at your Sunday worship assembly, but after six hours depicts an entirely different version of you.

When my son was around eight or so, I noticed my inability to communicate with him at his rudimentary level. I thought the best mechanism for getting my point across was to yell it sternly. After so many failed attempts I discovered a more effective way of dealing with him without the verbally aggressive tone that proved time and time again to be ineffective. There were times when I felt so completely helpless and embarrassed after having one of my adult tantrums. One day I was on a social call and unbeknownst to me, I hadn't hit it the mute button so the other person on the line saw my hand. This quiet and respectful person that they'd experience on countless occasions just became this belligerent maniac. I attempted to laugh over my explosive embarrassment but it only made me feel worse. From that day forward, I decided to change the way in which I communicated with him. It was no longer about getting him to obey my rules but more so about changing myself whether I'm in the company of others or not.

Having patience was my personal hump that I had to get over but yours may be something else. Maybe you don't spend enough time with your child, maybe you're not a nurturer. There can be several things. But the most important thing for you to do is not to let it go unchecked. Read books or articles on resolutions to the things that you are struggling with when it comes to parenting. Pray and seek counseling. Both of which have personally worked for me.

My hope is that you don't feel like you're ever alone. We've all been there. As the title states, No One Said That It Would Be Easy. But you can do it.

Thanks for reading!

Davina S.

4 Comments

Natalie Jones

5/27/2019 12:52:44 pm

I think when we have “adult tantrums” it’s more about us, the adult, than it is the child. I had to learn too, and am still learning, that children react to your actions and the behave in the way that they are taught. My daughter for instance, said to me one day after I spanked her brother, “why do you hit us but at the same time tell us hitting is wrong”? I was speechless 😶 Counseling has also taught me that I have to have control over my own actions before I can expect my children to have control over theirs......

Davina

5/27/2019 01:36:07 pm

Yes Natalie. It’s really a learning process for us. Thanks for commenting!

Adelras Kidd

5/27/2019 04:01:48 pm

Very informative read Davina. You provided support and encouragement for us parents. And Natalie, your comment was honest, funny and serious. Continue inspiring the globe Davina, God is using your gift. With much love your brother, Kidd.

5/27/2019 06:54:00 pm

Thanks Kidd! We're helpers one to another.

Parenting