Sexual Ties

Things can escalate quickly once sex is introduced. The meaning behind the words love and lust become entangled. Relationships are destroyed when seemingly innocent flirtation turns into physical intimacy. Power rolls become switched based upon predator and prey. So what happens when you regret having sex with someone but find yourself strangely tied to them.

By no means am I an expert on this topic. There are many psychologist and theologians out there who can dig really deep into the manifestations, not only mentally but spiritually, that occur once two people have engaged in sexual intercourse. So although my scope may be limited to my own experiences and the ones of those close to me, I am sure that there will be a few who can relate.

I can recall one time after being celibate for years, finding myself where I promised I wouldn't be until marriage. Prior to actually engaging in the act, we engaged in conversation on a day to day basis. Most people know that when you talk to someone on a consistent basis, you can nurture the illusion of a bond. Once we arrived at the place of having sex, after the deed was done, everything up until that moment started to mentally fade. The closest comparison that I can think of is the theater curtains closing while the audience still remained seated to throw apples on stage at the sight of what they just watched take place. The audience in my experience were the friends that I told about him, my faith, and my years of celibacy. 

​After a week or so of remorse, I found myself missing someone who I knew wasn't the best choice for me. I wanted to be around him although our physical encounters didn't compare to what it felt like engaging with him over the phone. There was this gravitational pull to engage in what I knew would be the beginning of a cycle that I didn't need to nor did I want to be a part of. I was listening to some of the music that he'd introduced me to when I realized that I had to release this tie that had seemingly roped itself around me.

One of the first steps that I took was confessing what I'd done out loud. I expressed my regret to God, him and myself. During that time I also found myself wanting to detox so I stopped consuming a lot pf foods, which aligned with my weight goals, and consumed more water. I also spent time with myself soaking in hot salt baths with some of my favorite essential oils. One of my girlfriends was sure that I would get a UTI due to me not being intimate for years but I guess the water and the baths helped in me not having to deal with that.

As I stated, I'm not an expert. This is just my personal experience that I hope helps someone to get free. Although we can't turn back the hands of time, we can make better choices in the time ahead. 

Davina S.